Everyone loves funny office signs. They lighten the mood — as long as there is no real animosity involved. Signs that are truly mean-spirited are probably a symptom of some sort of dysfunction. But that’s a subject for another day.

We have seen hundreds of funny signs in the workplace. We have no idea who thinks these things up, but we sincerely hope that some of this creative energy eventually found its way into the workplace!

Here are a few of our all-time faves. Several are old classics you might have seen before.

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This first group consists of signs usually seen around someone who is genuinely busy and probably does not want to speak to you. They can be rather sadistic!

Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

No, I’m not busy. I’m ignoring you.

If you’ve got nothing to do, don’t do it here.

If the Help Desk thinks your question is stupid, we will set you on fire

Self deprecation is usually good for a smile or two — we all like someone who can make a little fun of himself or herself. People who are genuinely lazy, of course, rarely draw this to anyone’s attention this way:

My work fascinates me. I can sit and look at it all day.

I stopped looking for work when I found this job.

Hard work never killed anyone. But why take a chance?

It sure makes the day long when you get to work on time.

In the same vein is this group which would seem to indicate that these people have developed grave reservations about their own levels of competence:

The extreme secrecy of my work prevents my knowing what I’m doing.

I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

Seen it all. Done it all. Forgot most of it.

And while we are on subject of people who enjoy a joke on themselves, we have observed these (the first belonged to a bald man):

I can’t control my hair. Hell, I can’t even find it!

No, I’m not paranoid. (Who wants to know?)

There is a vast assortment of signs indicating some level of disdain for the organisation:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine the standard.

MEETINGS: An alternative to productive work.

Got some original ones we’ve missed out? Office Kitten would love to learn of them!